The Beginings of Winter

Three weeks have passed since first coming down to stay on my parents property. It has been quite an adjustment from the busyness of Colorado Springs with its grocery stores at nearly every corner, fabulous coffee shops, and my friends just a short drive away. Now I am living nearly 3 hours from the Springs and 30 minutes from the nearest town in a place described as: an unincorporated community and U.S. Post Office. A little known fact to those outside of this “unincorporated community”; the post office no longer exists. 

Life down here has its own sort of busyness and interruptions. My dad and I are in the process of renovating an old barn, (previously made livable) which I will move into in approximately three weeks. It is proving to be quite a feat however. My jobs thus far have been to scrape cement off the old bricks, which a month ago made up the floor. Once we fix and fill the holes that rodents and time have created, the brick floors will be reinstalled. Currently, I am working on reputtying the single paned windows to ensure more warmth this winter. Thus far, many unexpected trips into town have taken place, large orders of gravel and road base have been delivered, and the supply of firewood outside my door is begging to be restocked. You never know how much work it takes to keep a large property in good shape till you are a part of the goings on. 

After a very labor intensive seasonal job working on a flower farm, sitting at my computer or in front of the many art pieces I am working on is proving to be an adjustment. My days tend to go as follows; work a few hours in the morning on my business endeavors, which is a good exercise in self control and persistence, in order to accomplish all I hope for this winter. After lunch, I join my father in working on the barn until the sun goes down. At some point, I fit a workout in or go for a run (only two days a week for now, but for those who know my athletic journey this is a big milestone!). 

What do I hope to achieve this winter? Well I'm glad I asked the question on your behalf. The list is not exactly extensive, however the projects demanding my attention require a great deal of research and work. I have several art pieces in my mind's eye. Two in particular that I am working on is a commissioned painting and a tapestry of tea bags, but more on that later. In addition, I have been building a website for my business ‘Discovering Authenticity’ and putting together a plan for its future growth and expansion. Essentially, I am learning how to be an entrepreneur. I’ve dabbled in entrepreneurship before but never worked full time on making my own dreams become reality. It is a thrilling yet terrifying experience thus far and I am learning just how much I have to learn, not only about how to grow and run a successful business, but about myself and how I handle things.

Rambling Reflections

Since moving out to Southern California, a place that I never thought I would end up living, I have learned more about myself then I ever thought possible. I find this statement rather entertaining for I always end up saying it after the growth that accompanies each new season. But such is life; full of constant self-discovery. Take the last year spent living in Colorado: I had 3 swim coaching jobs, was a nanny for 2 families, and picked up odd jobs or freelance art/photography work where I could. Needless to say at the end of the year I was exhausted and feeling a great deal like Bilbo Baggins when he said “I feel thin, like butter scraped over too much bread.” At first I thought the lessons learned were simply things like saying “no” can help with your sanity, calendars fill up surprisingly fast when your juggling so many schedules, and the fact that coffee was actually what Prometheus stole from the gods…not fire…don’t believe the lies… But after nearly 8 months of living in Huntington Beach, CA, I have been able to process and discover that I in fact learned a great deal more.

I think taking on all those jobs was probably the best thing I could have done coming right out of college. Now don’t get me wrong I definitely don’t recommend it for after a year I reached burn out, my drawing skills suffered for lack of practice, I got a bit fluffy for I didn’t prioritize hitting the gym, and let me be honest my attitude wasn’t the greatest for most days I returned home with extensive complaints. But of all the lessons learned the most important was that I have the power to choose how I live. I have 24 hours each day to decide what I do, 24 hours to choose how I respond to things outside of my control, 24 hours to press into who I was created to be. Every hour presents countless opportunities of incredible growth, and when I look deep inside, I realize that it is this concept of growth drives me to make the decisions that more often than not put my mother in a state of worry.

When the offer came to move to the California coast as a full time nanny I didn’t need much convincing to say yes...ok ok so actually I over thought the whole thing, talked it through with all the people I looked to for advice, and yes for those who read my last blog post, I made several pros and cons lists. But the offer came at a time where a change was much needed. Although Colorado at this point had been home for 15 years and a place that housed my amazing family and my best memories, I knew it was time to leave the familiarity and comfort of home. I never realized it was possible to have an opportunity set before you where, overthinking aside, the right decision is simultaneously the most obvious and yet the absolute hardest to make. So trusting that this change was a part of my journey I said yes, and the summer passed quickly as I packed my life in boxes, said goodbyes, and embarking on a new season of life.

Eight months later I find myself entering a fresh season of growth as a new sense of home forms. I find my hunger to discover what I am capable of accomplishing increase as I receive little tastes here and there that my dreams may just actually be achievable. And as I am blessed with a community of amazing people I am constantly challenged to remain authentic in a place known for its shallow values of beauty and status. So here I am entering my mid-twenties, learning oh so much, making plenty of mistakes, and ever longing to press even deeper into whom my Creator intends me to be.